there's nothing new on the internet
by eternitysky
Summary: In which Kuroo has no idea what he's doing and Kenma's there to listen.


*cough* I'm probably one of the older people in this fandom, so post-college kuroken is my fix.

I imagine them to be somewhere in their mid-twenties here

* * *

It didn't make sense.

The design should have made sense by now, but the more Kuroo stared at it, the more problems he found and the more confused he got with the concept.

He sighed heavily and forcefully smacked his head against the table, feeling the sting of the sharp edge. It was nothing compared to his headache and how much his eyes hurt from staring at the computer screen for so long.

He felt tired, both physically and mentally. More tired than someone his age had any right to be.

Kuroo did not know how long he stayed in that position, but came back to himself when he felt a warm hand rest on his shoulder.

"You'll make your back sore if you keep sitting in that position."

He had no idea when Kenma had come home. He certainly hadn't heard the door open.

"Come lay in bed with me."

"Kenma, I really need to finish this," Kuroo mumbled, lifting his head once more to the dreaded screen.

"Kuro, you're not gonna get anything done by staring at the screen like you have been for the past ten minutes."

"How do you know it's been that long?"

"I've been watching. You didn't notice." The hand at his shoulder slid down his arm and pried his fingers from the edge of the table. "You're exhausted, your brain is fried. You need a break."

Kuro groaned and ran his free hand through his hair, messing it up further and making strands stick up at odd angles. "God, you're probably right."

With a sigh, he got up, shut his laptop, and removed his glasses from his face, dumping them on the table. All of his notes were still scattered around his laptop, but he didn't have the energy to clean them up and he didn't think Kenma would allow him, anyway.

He let Kenma lead him by the hand into their bedroom and pull him onto the bed.

"So, what's up?" Kenma asked, only when they were curled comfortably around each other and Kenma's fingers were brushing through Kuroo's hair in a way he knew Kuroo liked.

Kuroo tried to relax under Kenma's touch, but the tension didn't dissipate. He sighed, rubbing at his eyes. They were starting to sting.

Kenma was silent, letting his fingers slide gently through Kuroo's hair until Kuroo broke and tears started streaming down his face.

"God, this is so stupid," he said between sobs. "I feel like such a fucking baby."

"It's not stupid if it's making this upset." The gentle fingers never stopped moving thorough his hair.

Kenma shifted closer and Kuroo let his hands slide from his eyes to Kenma's sides and buried his face in the crook of Kenma's neck.

"I just worked so fucking hard to get here, busted my ass off in school to work for the best engineering firm in the country. And for what? To be completely incompetent? I feel like I can't do anything. And I just-" That was all Kuroo managed to get out before sobs seized his body.

Kenma didn't say anything. All he did was hold Kuroo close and let him cry and continued to run his fingers through his hair.

It took a long while for Kuroo to calm down, for his shoulders to stop shaking, for the tears to stop flowing. Kenma's collar was completely soaked by that point, but he held Kuroo just as close.

"Jeez, sorry," Kuroo murmured against Kenma's shirt. "Didn't mean to completely slobber all over you." He lifted his head from Kenma's shoulder and looked up, puffy-eyed and red faced, at the other man, his mouth curved in mild amusement.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure this is your shirt, so no harm done," Kenma teased, to which Kuroo chuckled lightly.

A comfortable silence fell over the two of them.

"Hey, Kuroo," Kenma whispered after a minute.

"Mm?"

"Want me to rub your feet?"

Kuroo's eyes flashed with excitement and a smile, wider this time, stretched his lips. "Always."

Kenma laughed and with a peck to Kuroo's red, swollen nose, crawled to the bottom of the bed and leaned against the wall, putting the other man's feet in his lap.

"My feet are probably kind of stinky. Just a warning," Kuroo said as Kenma started pulling off his socks.

"Oh, well. I've faced worse." Kenma's comment earned another laugh from Kuroo.

Kuroo sighed as Kenma's warm hands splayed over Kuroo's feet, moving over the tops gently and bending the toes.

"I'm here if you wanna talk about it," Kenma murmured as he dug his thumbs into the ball of Kuroo's right foot.

It only took a couple of minutes under Kenma's gentle, but firm fingers for Kuroo to start.

"So Hiroshi gave me this project yesterday and said he wants it on his desk by the end of the week. And it's way harder than anything I've ever done before. In a way, it maybe shows that he thinks I can handle it? Or maybe he's just overworked and wants to dump some of the projects on the junior staff. And I just-" he sighed in frustration. Kenma waited for him to continue. "And I just don't think I can do it without help." Kenma's fingers moved to massaging the heel. "The other thing is that I'm not even sure I want to do it. Not because I'm lazy or anything, but because I just don't enjoy it anymore."

The room was silent while Kenma worked his thumbs over the ball of Kuroo's foot and then moved to the other. "You don't?" he asked, eventually.

"Yea, and that terrifies me. And it's not even the grunge work that they're obviously giving to the junior staff. Like, I look at the stuff my superiors are doing and I'm just not really interested in any of it," he said with a shrug.

Kenma hummed in response to indicate that he was listening.

"And it's just, like you work your whole life towards a goal, you sacrifice so much for it. And then you get there and it's just not what you expected, you know?"

Kenma nodded. "So what do you think you should do?"

Kuroo sighed in frustration again. "I don't know. I literally have no idea where I want to go from here. And that's terrifying." He rubbed at his eyes again. "God, I feel like I should have it figured out by now. Everyone else seems to have figured it out by now."

It was Kenma's turn to shrug. "I don't necessarily think that's true. I don't think anyone's life is as together as it seems. Blame social media for that perception."

" _Your_ life is pretty together."

Kenma clicked his tongue. "Now that's just selective memory. You know I'm a mess half the time. Groping blindly through adulthood like everyone else." His voice had some humor in it as he flicked his wrist to emphasize his point. "A girl at work quit last week to go live in an ashram somewhere in India for a while. She wants to make a travel blog and get a yoga certification, or something."

"Wow, that's pretty intense."

"Yup, and she was the most gung-ho about making it in the industry when she first started."

Kuroo looked at Kenma. "So you don't think it would be completely fucking crazy if I quit my job and did something entirely different?"

"Of course not. You're allowed to change your mind. I'll be here thorough all of it," Kenma said, pressing his hand to Kuroo's calf.

"But I have no idea what I'd even do. Like, actually no idea."

"Well, I'll be here for you while you figure it out. Or, we can figure it out together. Whatever you need."

"You'd really stick it out with a failure like me?" Kuroo smiled like he was joking. But Kenma knew Kuroo too well and knew how Kuroo hid his largest insecurities in his humor.

"You're not a failure. Not loving your job doesn't make you any less passionate or brilliant or amazing." Kenma crawled up Kuroo's body and hovered over his face. "Your passion is one of the things I love and admire most about you. You find passion in so many things. It doesn't make sense for you to do something that you're not excited about."

Kuroo craned his neck and brushed his lips against Kenma's. Kenma pressed down until Kuroo's head hit the pillow again and kissed him more soundly.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" Kuroo murmured against Kenma's lips when they broke apart.

Kenma smiled and kissed Kuroo again. "I can make you a list."

* * *

WHY CAN I ONLY WRITE COMFORT FOR THESE TWO?!

I've always imagined Kuroo in engineering. You can use your imagination for Kenma ;) ;)


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